So tonight I had a date. It was odd getting ready and then asking Laura how I looked before going out on a date with another woman. She said I looked great which gave me more confidence. I was very nervous about going out on this date because I wasn't sure how I would be and I didn't know if it was just too soon.
The woman I met for dinner is very nice. She is very interesting and I even found her cute. One thing I loved about her was her hair. I really think I am a hair kind of girl. I just love women's hair and I love playing with it (I did not play with her hair-hehe).
As I was sitting at dinner talking with this woman I realized that maybe it's a little early for me to be dating. It's been about a month since Laura and I split, but I am thinking that maybe I need a little bit more time. As much as I want to find that perfect love, I want to make sure that I find her when I am ready. It would be a shame to find that perfect woman and I mess it up because I am still working through all my emotions.
It was good getting out of the house and getting all dressed up. For the past three weeks I have mainly lived out of my t-shirts and gym shorts. I did however get dressed up for my orientation and one hour of work, but besides that I stuck with my shorts and t-shirts. It felt wonderful doing my hair and making sure that I looked just perfect. I am lucky that some of my spring/summer clothes still fit. But I promise they won't for long. The tan shorts I wore last summer are so big that I can slip them on and off without unbuttoning them. As I recall, last summer they fit, but were a little snug.
Through all this process I feel like I have suddenly acquired bipolar disease. One minute I am fine and the next I am a complete mess. Laura has been wonderful at just listening to me and letting me cry when I need to cry. I swear she has seen me cry more in the last three weeks then in the last three years combined. At this moment I am feeling good. I need to focus on this good feeling and remind myself when I am consumed with fear that it will not last. I just keep reminding myself that I will be OK. Sometimes I have to remind myself every minute and sometimes I can go hours. The good news is that the good moments are lasting longer then the moments of sadness and fear.
Life is still very good and I am excited about the future. I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I am excited and thrilled at the prospects.
4 comments:
It's good to be positive about the future. You will have good moments and bad moments. Just be friends instead of dating is my advice. Congrats again on the weight loss. Keep it up!
You said something very key: it is still early. My advice, take your time. Trust me, rebounding only ends in disaster. Good to get out, but too early for a relationship.
I agree: getting out is good, but yeah, maybe too early for a relationship. You've already gotten over the pressure of a first-date-after though, so that's good!
Ready for a relationship or not, that was good to do. She sounds like a nice girl, and obviously she wanted to go out with you too... sounds like a nice little ego boost.
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