I Must Have An Important Job

This morning I got up early to go do my physical/drug screen/TB test. The place opened at 7:30am and the guy from where I now work said that it would be best to get there early since people have been known to have to wait 3 hours. So I was there right at 7:30am. I started filling out my paperwork and they asked if I had brought anything from my employer for this. I barely got directions, so no I didn't have anything showing I needed to be there. Like I would be there on my own. When they realized that I didn't have anything from my employer they said I would have to wait until they could get a hold of someone that could authorize the tests. Well, I knew that I needed to have Sophie to the groomer by 9am and I had no idea how long it would take. So I told them I would be back. After getting Sophie to the groomer I went back. I had so much paperwork to fill out. You would think I was going into the secret service or something.

So they take me back and decide to do the drug test first. They marked a line on the cup and said I needed to fill it to at least that point. One thing I did like it was a big cup. I hate when they give you these tiny little cups and expect you to not pee on your hand. After I finish I look at the cup and realize that I am just a little short of the line. I try to pee some more and there is nothing left. Damn. I go back and they make me sign all this paperwork stating that I will be given 2 hours and 3 glasses of water to try again and if I can't provide a suitable sample then it will go back to the employer that my sample was not suitable. I start worrying.

Then they start the physical. I had an ear test, eye test, pulse taken and blood pressure taken. My blood pressure was a little high (126/84), but I am sure it has come way down from a few weeks ago. Then they took me into a small room, instructed me to get undressed so the doctor could examine me. WTF? At this point I am pissed. I don't understand why all this has to occur because of my simple job. As usual the Doctor asked if I was on birth control and then looked at me weird when I told her NO. I wanted to say "it's none of your damn business".

I then go into the waiting room to drink my water and wait. Once I finished the water I waited about 30 minutes until I was getting uncomfortable. I then went in for try #2. This time not only did they get what they wanted, but they had plenty extra. Whew. I did not want to have a problem with this because I really need this job.

I then had my TB test and I was on my way. It was about a 15 minute drive home and I wasn't sure I was going to make it because I had to pee so badly. I was literally in pain when I pulled into the driveway. I never thought the garage door was going to go up.

So all this for my simple ass job. But it got me thinking that to someone it must be a really important job.