Last night I had a mini breakdown and thanks to a wonderful person I was able to get through the night. Laura has been calling me which is nice. She called me last night before bed and then again this morning. We had a really good talk this morning and I can hear the pain she is going through in her voice. I am not good at patience and the last ten days or so have really tested my patience. I have to give her this space so she can see what she has here in KC with me. Right now I am taking it minute by minute. By the end of our first conversation this morning we were both laughing and it seemed like the old times. It was good to hear both of us laughing. I talked to her one more time before my interview and then after the interview. I am trying really hard at keeping our conversations middle of the ground. If we bring up too much stuff then we both get upset and that will get us no where right now.
It's only noon and I have managed to do the following, all without crying.
*Got up, took a shower and got dressed
*Went to pick up cigarettes. I didn't realize before this but the body really can live off of water and nicotine.
*Went to Walgreen's to pick up a few things that I need
*Drove to the dog groomer and made an appointment for Sophie to get her hair cut on Friday. I know she will feel better once her winter coat is trimmed down a bit.
*Went to my job interview. There was one moment during the interview where for some reason I started thinking about Laura and all that is going on and I could feel the tears welling up. I stopped, took a deep breath and continued to answer their questions.
*Went to Blockbuster and rented a couple movies that I have been wanting to see.
*Treated myself to McDonald's. Yesterday I ate 2 bagels and one White Castle burger. I have now lost 35lbs. Before this is all over I may be at my goal of losing 60lbs.
When I was getting dressed this morning I couldn't wear what I had originally planned on wearing to the interview. It's weird because almost none of my clothes are fitting. For the first time that I remember, almost all my clothes are too big. Looks like I need to go look for some new clothes. I think I am going to wait until I am feeling better because remember I hate shopping for clothes.
6 comments:
My word! I can't do anywhere near that before noon, even on my best day. That list is more like 3 or 4 days worth of stuff! That's incredible, way to go!
Caroline- you are doing great in very tough circumstances. I'm proud of you. Wish i could give you this in person ((hugs))
Just take it a day, an hour a minute at a time. Whatever works for you right now.
I agree a shopping trip is in order. treat yourself!!! You deserve it.
I have all the respect for you Caroline, you are doing great.You have a plate full and you are handling it the best you know how. You know we love ya. Keep your strength.
*HUGS* I am glad that you are doing better :) Like I told you last night, you aren't alone, and we love ya :) You are doing great, keep your chin up and remember, you are #1 :)
You are doing wonderful Caroline. I have no patience either. At all. I wish I could subside on water and nicotine but I can't smoke. Wait until you feel like it to buy some new clothes and then buy things that make you feel TERRIFIC
It's awesome to lose weight but expensive and time-consuming to buy all new clothes! I guess if you were one of those people who believed in "retail therapy" you could do some serious damage right now so it's just as well you hate shopping.
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