My first day of my 5 day weekend got off to a rocky start. I had a 10am appointment at my dentist for a filling and then to be fitted for my crown. I like to get to my appointments early just in case they can get me in. I walked in the office at 9:50am and I waited. And I waited. And I waited. Finally around 10:20 the receptionist said to me, "did she (the old receptionist) talk to you about how much today would be?" I had budgeted in $200 (part payment for crown, filling) knowing I had a $115 credit. She then explained to me that I was going to have to pay $280. What?????? I explained to her about the credit and she had no idea what I was talking about. At this point I am getting a little irritated. She finally agreed that I must be right and that my part would still be $280. She explained that their prices had gone up, etc, etc, etc. I tell her whatever and I sit down. At this point I am about to tears. I was so tired of all the dental work that I was going through and I was even more tired of all the money I was shelling out. Finally at 10:40 they call me back. I am trying real hard not to cry at this point. I knew there was a chance that the tooth they were doing the filling would need a root canal, but I was hoping for the best.
They hook me up to the laughing gas and I immediately felt calmer and ready to take on the dental world again. They started working on the part for the crown and then next thing I know I feel pain. They stop and give me another shot and then I feel more pain. They give me one more shot and I close my eyes and take deeeeep breathe of the gas. NO PAIN. At one point they stop and poke my tooth and I hear them say, "the tooth is solid", which is a very good thing. It means no root canal. I feel like I just won the lottery.
Right after I felt the first pain I got very scared. I tried to calm myself down and then I had an overwhelming feeling of someone comforting me. I realize that the presence I feel is my Mother. In my mind she is pulling me into her and holding me. It felt good.
I don't know if I was not getting enough oxygen when I felt my Mother comforting me, but it still felt good, but it also was very sad. No matter how strong I try to be, there are times when the little girl in me still desperately wants her Mom. I came home and had a much needed cry.
It's now time to have some fun and get this weekend started.
7 comments:
I think we all need our moms sometimes - no matter our history or our current relationship with them, they are a symbol of comfort. And I've found that to be true for me even though she was never a source of real comfort for me growing up. And now, even though she couldn't be there to comfort me if she wanted (and was capable) I still have days when I think "I just want my mom!"
I'm sorry it made you sad today. Hang in there and have a great weekend!
You deserve it, have a great week-end - get the party started. No more dental visits.
Go and have yourself a great weekend. You deserve it. :)
Oh you poor thing, I really hope you're at the end of your dental problems!!! (I cannot imagine how much this is costing!!!)
casey--you know my mother never was a big hug person, but while i was in "la la" land she was. thanks for the encouragment.
patticake--oh, the party has already started at our house...welcome back btw
eyeoftherainbow--thanks so much. we can't wait to get out of town
sandra--you don't want to know. i am afraid to count up what we've paid. come tax time we will know for sure, but i can tell you this; we will have an awesome tax refund thanks to all the dental work
"No matter how strong I try to be, there are times when the little girl in me still desperately wants her Mom."
I know how you feel..so much that it hurts. I couldn't have said those words better than you did.
I wish there was a way that the memory of the mom you once had could bring you comfort instead of pain in the times you need her now. No matter how old we are, there are times that everyone just wants their mommy. {{{{ }}}}
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