A Child of Love

On my post on Halloween Sassy asked me about my response to Laura and I have children. I have found lately that a lot of people have been asking if Laura and I are going to have children. I love being asked that question because I feel that people are taking my relationship with Laura seriously. In the past two weeks we have had 4 different people ask us what our intentions are in regards to having children. Here is my view on Laura and I having children.

As long as I can remember I have wanted to be a Mother. My cousin and I used to play house and we would always have lots and lots of babies. Part of playing house was always pretending like we were in church and having the babies to care for while we were in church. My cousin and I would sing the songs from the church and as it always happens the baby would start crying during the song and we would have to get up with it. That was some good times. So, from the time I was a toddler I have always wanted to be a Mother. When my ex husband and I were married we also wanted children, but we felt it was better to wait to have them until we were done with school. A year before we graduated I went off the pill. I never got pregnant and I truly believe it was a blessing in disguise. I wonder if I would have found the courage to be who I am if I had a child to raise as well.

As I was "finding" myself I still felt that being a Mother was one of the most important things I wanted to do in my life. But I struggled to see how that would happen. Some of the people I dated were not real good parenting role models, so again it was probably good that I never became pregnant. When Laura and I got together we talked about children from the beginning. We both agreed that having children was something we wanted to revisit a few years down the road.

Now it's a "few years" down the road and the topic of children has become a serious conversation in our household. We have discussed who would carry the child, how we would obtain the other half of the necessary items to produce a child and so many other things. There are many thoughts that come with seriously thinking of having a child. Would our child suffer because of their parents being gay? How much will our life change once we have a child? Can we financially afford to have a child? What legal issues will we encounter once the child is born?

So many questions and not enough answers. Laura and I have a lot of love for each other and I know for a fact that our child would be loved more then anything in this world. I know for a fact that Laura and I can raise a child in a home filled with love, respect and compassion. But is that enough? The world can be a cruel place. We currently live in the "heartland" where gay relationships are not completely accepted. We have a some friends that are gay and they have a ten year old daughter. This little girl is so loved and is so educated on what the world is really like. Part of me thinks it's hard on a child so young to be so aware at how mean the world can be. At ten years old she is so mature and seems so happy with her little family.

Laura and I deserve the right to have a child if that's what we decide. But our child also deserves to be treated with respect and dignity no matter who makes up his/her family. At this time the world does not believe our child has the same rights as a child born and raised in a heterosexual relationship. It all seems unfair to me. But I also promise myself that just because some people in the world do not support my family, it's not going to stop me from doing what I feel so strongly about.

I also need to remind myself that there are still good people in the world. There are people that love me and Laura and would love our child completely. Laura and I would have full support from our family and would accept our child into the family just as they have our newest nephew. Not everyone is bad in the world and I refuse to live my life by fear.

I live my life with love as my guiding force. I want to be able to teach my child this same important lesson.

Love is all you need.