Sunday night I was sitting in the living room folding laundry when a commercial for "Brokeback Mountain" came on. At the end they said, "Now playing". I quickly grabbed the paper and looked and sure enough, it was playing at 3 theatres in KC. I ran up and told Laura who was on the computer. It was like the best gift, but 5 days early.
So, Monday we woke up and got ready and went to the movie. As we were driving to the theatre I was thinking, "the theatre will be empty and we'll probably be the only ones there". I couldn't have been more wrong. We got there about 10 minutes before the movie started and the theatre was packed. We had a hard time finding two seats together. And I was even more surprised at the people there to watch the movie. It was a good mix of gay and straight. Actually, I think there were more straight people there then gay.
The movie. You know how sometimes you get all worked up about something and then when it actually happens it's kind of a let down. Well, this did not happen with this movie. This was such a good movie. It was very touching and really showed that gay people are not these weirdos that conservatives want you to believe. It was about a genuine love. As we were walking out I asked Laura on a scale or 1-10 (10 being best) what she thought. She looked at me and said, "we will own that movie when it comes out to DVD".
One of the most touching parts was near the end. One of them went to visit with the others parents and they were so kind to him. It was as if they knew all along and accepted their son anyway. Made me long for that acceptance with my family. I think it made me long for that kind of acceptance all over. My first thought after the movie was, "I am so glad we live in a time that is more accepting to gays." But after much thought, are we really? Yes, Laura and I can live in the same house and not worry too much about being outcasted in our neighborhood or town. But we still have restrictions on how much affection we can show in public. I have found that people are more accepting of it when they don't have to deal with it. But when they have to deal with it on a personal basis, then they have a problem with it. People mention that it makes them feel uncomfortable to see two homosexuals showing any kind of affection because they aren't used to it. I do agree that a lot of affection in public is not approriate. I have told many people to get a hotel room because I think it's inapproriate to be all over each other in public..gay or straight. But if I feel like holding hands with Laura in public or giving her a quick kiss, there should be nothing wrong with that.
Laura and I got into a discussion last night about many things concerning the rights of gays. She told me she is done with being an "activist" due to the consequences it has caused to her career. She has lost jobs because of her being gay. I on the other hand have a very accepting profession where being gay is welcomed and many social workers are gay themselves. I feel we need to continue to fight for our rights. I feel that by throwing your hands up and saying "I am done" can do a lot of damage to the future rights of gays. What if we all did that. Then where would we be? We would be forced back in the closest and to not be honest about who we really are.
When I came "out" to my family they gave me a choice. If you continue living your life as a homoesexual we will have nothing to do with you. Or you can pretend to be something you aren't and you will still be part of our family. The very thought of losing my family scared the shit out of me. I didn't think I was strong enough to "survive" in the world without them. I took a chance. I lived by faith for the first time in my life. It was as if I was standing at a cliff with my parents standing behind me saying either jump or get back. I made the decision to go with what felt right to me. And I still stand behind that feeling today.
Being gay and sharing my life with a woman is what is right for ME. It's not right for everyone. But isn't that what is great. How boring would the world be if we were all alike and liked the exact same things?
9 comments:
My sister is going to see that movie. I'll have to netflix it cause I have no one to watch it with. Joey doesn't care for love stories or "chick flicks"
I see nothing wrong with showing a little affection, gay or straight. But when the couple are just all over each other, ewww... save it for the bedroom.
Excellent post!
I agree that it is important to work for equal rights and fairness, but not everyone will choose to be an "activist" in the traditional sense. In such cases, I would recommend continuing in subtle ways to bridge the gap of understanding and fairness. This can happen in personal conversations, online, through blogs, or just as issues arise. Every bit helps.
Overall, if we all seek to understand each other and be understood, rather than to be "right", the world just might be a little more harmonious.
I think displays of public affection is healthy. Admittedly, even though I like men and women (see how I avoid the label!), I am one of those who is not used to seeing same sex public displays of affection, so it tends to be a little shocker to see...but, hey, I am closeted and live in a sexually repressive community, anyway, so no surprise there!
But what do I know, I'm the one who occasionally likes sex outdoors...so don't listen to me!
;)
I wasn't sure I wanted to see the movie, but after reading this, I think that I do. I think if I weren't a teacher I would be much more comfortable being affectionate in public with Fran. I don't mean all kissy and smoochy, just hand in hand, or arm in arm.
I think we go through phases of activisim, each doing as much as we can at various times, based on our individual circumstances. Sometimes we just get burned out, and it's time to let the torch be picked up by someone else.
sweet ange.--i agree..some things should be saved for the bedroom.
francesca--outdoors? but you live on a beautiful island. there isn't anything real beautiful about missouri. plus it's either hot or cold.
sassy--glad you are going to go see the movie. It really is good. (bring some kleenex though) I love what you said about the phases. I guess I am just going through one of those phases.
What a wonderful post..Good for you, my dear...
I wrote a post regarding "Brokeback Mountain about two weeks ago(?) I would have to look back at the actual date....The reason I wanted to write about it was because I had been on someones blog who had NOT seen the movie and bad mouthed it in a very scary way, to me..it was out and out Homophobic...and he was telling other people NOT to see this movie...(HELP ME!!!)..so, I had written in my comment to him, I was reserving my opinion till I saw this film and I did indeed intend to see it...He also bad mouthed Hollywood, too, which always ditresses me, as well....
Anyway...after I saw the movie which I loved...I felt I had to write about it....if you get a chance take a look...
What was very interesting to me were all the comments...some rather frightening I might add...about the Bible and Homosexuality...but a lot of the comments were quite wonderful, as you will see if you check it all out.
I just happened to click on your name in someone's blogroll thingy, cause I liked it...So glad I did!
Hope you keep 'active' cause, as you said, it is important for the future...
Amen Sister! We're hoping the movie will play in our town so we can use the movie gift certificates my folks gave to Betty Please for her b-day. They would die if they know that their money was used to suffort such a movie.
That is too bad that your parents made you choose. I don't understand why anyone would rather you live a lie and an unfulfilled life.
I'll go see it with you, sweet angel :)
Your last sentance hits the nail on the head.
I'm so sorry your family didn't support you. If I were gay, I don't know that my parents would support me, either. All I know, is that if I have kids, and they tell me they are gay, I will accept them and love them unconditionally.
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