Grandma Ness

I meant to write this entry yesterday, but got a horrible headache. So, I retired to bed early instead of writing.

When I was young there were two women that had a great amount of influence over me. They were my Grandmothers. They were two very different women. Grandma Ness was my Mom's mom. She was a very traditonal woman. She had the kindest heart of anyone I knew. And she always had a smile on her face. One thing that I loved so much about her was how she gave such attention to each of her Grandchildren. She always tried to spend that special time with you. When I was growing up I alawys felt like she understood me like no one else. A year after I got married I got a call from my aunt asking if I could go to her house and sit with her while her husband (my Grandpa had passed away in 1983) went to church. At first I was kind of upset because my ex was working that night and I was planning a night all to myself at home. My Grandma had gotten to the point where she didn't like being at home by herself at night. She seemed like she was in good health and rarely complained. That night it was just my Grandma and me. We sat there and talked for two hours about life. It was one of the most powerful conversations I had ever had with her. I remember leaving that night feeling so good about my relationship with her. 6 days later I got a call at 6am from my Mom saying that she had been rushed to the hospital. I got there right before she went into surgery. (she had an ulcer that was bleeding) It was as if she knew she was not coming out of the surgery. She was able to say goodbye to all of us. It was so emotional. After surgery she never woke up. Her funeral was on the one year anniversay of my ex's and I wedding. My Mom later told me that my Grandma was so excited about the new dress she had gotten for my wedding that she told my Mom that she wanted to be buried in it. Exactly one year later, she was buried in that dress.

Thinking about my life now and my Grandma I know she would still love me. My Mom has said that my Grandmothers would think what I was doing (being gay) as disgusting. They may not agree with me being gay, but that would not keep them from loving me. Unlike my Mother, they knew the bonds of family. They never in a million years would cut off one of their children or grandchildren.

After my Grandma passes away, my ex and I bought the house. I still live in that house today. It brings me comfort on days when I am really missing my Grandma. I swear there are times when I walk in the house and I can still smell her perfume. I know she is here with me and it's her inspiration that gets me through some of these tough times.