Dear Annoying Guy at the gym,

The last 3 times I have gone to the gym you have been there. I don't think you realize how annoying you are. Let me explain to you the reasons you are so annoying. You walk into the gym and find a machine. You get on and program your workout. Then you realize your daughter is not doing what you think she should be doing. You yell at her all the way across the room for her to come to you. (I have earphones on and the radio blasing, but I can still hear you) When she gets to you, you continue to talk very loud. You are acting like everyone wants to hear your business. Your daughter leaves and you start up again. You realize that you need to get some water. You get off your machine and casually make your way over to the water fountain. You notice your daughter on the weight machines and you don't think she is doing the weights correctly. You yell at her to wait for you to show her how to work the weights. You walk over to the weights and you show her how it should be done. You then walk back to your machine. You workout for maybe 3 minutes and then realize that you forgot to weight yourself. You get off your machine and walk over to the scale. You come back and realize your machine as once again restarted, which means you will have to restart your workout. Your cellphone rings. You answer it and have a 15 minute conversation about the neighbor next door that you think should be at the gym at least walking around the track. As your conversation continues, you realize you are out of water again. You step off the machine and walk over to the water fountain, as you are talking on your cellphone and refill your water bottle. You then get back on your machine and restart your workout.

At this point, my workout is over. As I am walking out of the gym, I look back and realize you have stepped off your machine again.

Here's an idea...stay on the machine and shut your God Damn mouth. Get in touch with your "inside voice" because not everyone wants to hear about your daughter, your neighbor and most of all, your workout.

Sincerely,
Caroline