Grateful

This past weekend was a very pleasant weekend. Really Laura and I didn't do that much. The weather was absoutly beautiful. I LOVE the fall. It truly is my favorite season. I love the days that are a little warm (60's or 70's) and the the nights are cool. When the seasons change I have always debated on when to turn the heat on or the air conditioning on. Laura, who is naturally cold, was begging we turn the heat on early last week. But it was warming up in the afternoons to the high 70's and I really felt we didn't need it. Well, last Thursday I got home from work and Laura is on the couch in sweat pants, sweat shirt and a blanket on. I did admit that the house was a little cold. I told Laura that we should probably turn on the heat and she said, "Thank God". She was so relieved. Our house stank for rest of the night. (you know that smell when you turn on the furnace for the first time in the season)

The first past of Friday night Laura and I spent talking about all that had happened with my Mom. We have been dealing with this for more then a year now. When do you say enough is enough? I felt very good about last post on Friday. Because I do see myself as a very forgiving person. My parents feel as if I have lied to them and lead a double life. I don't see how I lied to them about who I was. I always brought the girls I was seeing to their house. They have had dinner with several of them. I was doing everything except coming out and saying "I am sleeping with her also". I knew what their reaction was going to be. I tried to prevent that reaction for as long as possible.

Life goes on. My life is a good one. My parents keep telling me that I must be very unhappy. NO, I am not unhappy. I am saddened that they can't accept me for who I am and love me unconditonally. I am sad that my family can not see that I have not changed. This is who I am and it is who I was all alone. I will not change my life so I fit into what they want me to be.

I wish no harm for my family. I wish them happiness and love. They did contribute to the person I am today. And for that I am grateful.