Jehovah's Witness.....What exactly does that mean. It usually means something different to each person. They may think of the people that show up on Saturday mornings or holidays at their front door. They may think of a group of people that do not vote. They may think of a group of people that do not celebrate Christmas or any other holiday. For me...when I hear someone say Jehovah's Witness my skin literally crawls. Being raised a Jehovah's Witness you are taught that your religion is the "only true religion". Everyone else worships false gods. Everyone is wrong, but you my child are right. You are constantly fed bullshit through a straw. You are required to attend "meetings" (worship) 3 times a week, PLUS go door-to-door to share this "good news" with everyone, even if they don't want to hear it. We are required to put in at least one hour a month. The last few years of my association with JW's I lied about how many hours I was going door-to-door.
On Saturday two witnesses came to our door. I was not home, but Laura was home. The woman immediately went into her rehearsed speach about todays conditions, etc. (I am sure they are pulling on the heart strings of people regarding the recent hurricane) Laura stopped them and said, "Do you have a Watchtower for me." The woman replied, "yes". Laura told them her partner was disfellowshipped and they probably didn't want to stay. The woman quickly walked away. I think it's funny how they will talk to a complete stranger, but the minute they find out they are disfellowshipped they want nothing to do with them. Fine with me. I told Laura that when they come again (they usually come every 6 months) to tell them never to come to our house or we will call the police. I am tired of them bugging people and I think it needs to stop. If someone is interested in that religion, then they can call up a Kingdom Hall. But please, we all know who the witnesses are.
I have not spoken to most of my family in more then a year. My cousin Jill, who is three years younger, was my best friend growing up. We did everything together. She will have nothing to do with me. The last time I talked to her was the day before the announcment was made to the congregation about me being disfellowshipped. She told me that I couldn't be happy living this lifestyle and how much sadness it brought to Jehovah's heart. I reassured her that I was happier then I ever had been and not to worry about me. I think she was taken back at how confident I was. My cousin Joel is just one year younger then me. I met with him right before I was disfellowshipped. He said he told the family, "we need to treat her how Jesus would treat her". As we were leaving he hugged me and said with a smile, "Tell Laura welcome to the family." I thought that he was going to be the one that would keep in contact with me. In one year, nothing from him. Really made me disappointed in him. But I am sure he was under pressure from my aunt and uncle.
I have all this anger towards this group of people, and my family. I keep trying to figure out how to let go of this anger. I know that if I hold on to the anger, it will eventually kill me and everything in my life. This anger that I have makes me so jealous of the relationship Laura has with her family. There are times when I get angry she is talking with her family. Now, I am not literally angry because she is talking to her family. I am angry that I don't have that kind of relationship with my family anymore. How do I let this anger go? I pray every night for God to show me how to release this anger and allow me to accept what has happened. I will keep praying...
No comments:
Post a Comment