House of Secrets

Yesterday I emailed my Mother the address for this blog. I emailed it to her so she would know how I am feeling through all of this. She has never asked me how I am feeling. It has always been all about her and her feelings. She needs to see that I am not afraid anymore to put out there how she and my Dad have made me feel through all of this. But they also need to realize that I am a very resiliant person. I bounce back stronger then before. Last summer when I came "out" to them (even though they already knew) it was about money from the start. "You owe us for this and that". And I swear the list was a mile long. She accused me of running up one of her credit cards. That never happened. She told me that Laura and I would have to move out of our house because when the house was first bought (in 1998) my ex-husband and I bought it from my Mom and aunt. (they had inherited it from my Grandma when she passed away) My Mother really wanted us to have the house so it would stay in the family. She gave up her portion of the inheritance so we would qualify for the loan. She never mentioned repaying her. Now when I suddenly declare I am gay, I owe her $25,000. Then my parents insisted that I owe them for the car they bought me for graduation from my masters program. And get this, they added interest. I had never made one payment and it was never asked of me to make one. But suddenly I am gay and I owe them $15,000. Wow. Keep in mind, both the house and the car has nothing with their name on it. They know the truth. They were just hoping to scare me into paying them.

In May I had to go get my old tax papers from my parents. As I was walking out the door I told my Dad that it would be nice if we could work things out because Laura is going to be around for a while. He said his asking price for working things out was $15,000. He just then put a price tag on our relationship. I was through playing his games and walked out the door.

If we are keeping track of who owes what. Let's see. I am sure my Mother has never told anyone that she took my 2 diamond rings when James and I split and had a ring made for herself. I asked her to hold them for me and next thing I know she has a new ring. She had helped me with one house payment. She got at least $2000 worth of diamonds. What about what my brother has stolen from me over the years. They wouldn't let him stay with them because he steals, but would ask me to house him. Whatever...

My entire childhood was spent in a house of secrets. I will no longer hold these secrets inside. And no matter what anyone says, I have the RIGHT to speak these truths.