Babies

Happy Monday. We had a good weekend. Laura's nephew welcomed his first child into the world. Little Landon is adoreable and it was nice finally meeting him. As many of you know, from the time I played with dolls and make believe families, I have always wanted children. Many of my friends from high school are very surprised that at 32 I don't have any children yet. I remember playing the game of "Life" with my cousins and I would literally buy their children so I could have more children. Having a baby has always been something that I have dreamed about.

Then reality hit. It is so much responsibilty. It is nice being able to sleep in on the weeknds, decide at the last minute to go do something. When you have a child your whole world is centered around this child.

Then put in all of this the child having two gay parents. How fair is that to the child. The world can be so mean and so hateful. It would kill me if a child of mine suffered because of me. And Kansas City is not real diverse and is not real open to "alternative" families. Then there is the part of me that says Our love and the love of our family would be enough for this child. If Laura and I were to have a child it would be one of the luckiest babies in the world. It would have one parent who is a social worker and one who is a teacher. Plus, it would be the most loved baby. When two gay people decide to have a baby, it's not something that just "happens". It takes a lot of planning. Obviously. It makes me sad to think that we can't just say, "opps, look what we created".

Laura and I have had several discussions about a baby. She has more of a foot in reality in this regards then me. She is worried about the prejudice this child would suffer and about the money and time it would take to raise just ONE child. And I am more in another world. I tell her, "our love is enough for this child". Only time and God knows what the outcome will be.

On another note, my brother and his wife are due to have their third child in about a month. This will be #4 for my brother. His first child is from his first marriage. These are two people that need to be permentantly fixed. Don't get me wrong, I love my nephews. My brothers first wife has more of a head of her shoulders then his second wife. ( I knew she was smart when she left him) My two youngest nephews and the nephew due in September have a tough road ahead for them. It's situations like this that make me angry. It's not fair that these two people who have NO business have babies are allowed to just keep popping them out. They can't even support themselves, let alone 4 kids. Some things don't make sense, and never will.