Monday's Happenings

Today is the annual golf fund raiser for the agency that I work for. This is only the second year that I have been here and I did not go last year. I was asked a few weeks ago if I was available to come help. Really did I have a choice? I guess in past years they have had the golf tournament in September but decided to move it this year to July so it wouldn't be so hot. Huh? That made no sense to me, but ok. So, the cooler temps they were going for didn't exactly work out. Today's high is 103. I was lucky in that I only had to stay out there for a couple hours. Whew. The hottest part of the day is yet to come and I will very happily be in my office in the cool a/c. One highlight was seeing some KC celebrities. The one I was most fasinated with was Len Dawson. He was the quarterback for the Chiefs when they wont he superbowl in 1969 and is now a sports broadcaster here in KC. That was kind of exciting.

This afternoon I go back to the dentist to have my crown put on. I am so glad this part of the work is done with. I have had no pain in over a week now and it feels good being able to chew on both sides of my mouth now with no pain. I don't expect any problems with todays visit. I do have to set up the appointments for the other work that needs to be done. Fillings is all that is left, I think, I hope.

I am 1/2 way done with my book on quitting smoking. My goal is to have it done this week. I have 4 packs of smokes left and I am determined not to buy anymore. Part of me really feels free, but then there is still a small part that is kind of scared. But I know I can do it. I am tired of nicotine running my life and in a sense ruining it. So that means by the weekend I should officially be a nonsmoker. Wow. That feels good saying that.

Priorities

Well, it's another hot one out there. Temps are in the high 90's and tomorrow it's suppose to break 100. So,what to do on a hot, humid summer day. Go to the movies. We went and saw Miami Vice. It actually was very good. I had wanted to see it since seeing the previews in the spring. Then today I saw something on tv about it saying it wasn't that good. I kind of hestitated, but decided what the heck. And it did not disappoint. The music was awesome throughout the entire movie. That soundtrack is the next thing on our list to get.

Watching all the scenes in Florida made has long for a vacation in Florida. We have reserverations to go in April,but that seems just too far away. Ever since we went there in April we have thought seriously about just selling everything and moving there. I wasn't too thrilled or impressed with Miami when we drove through it. First of all, the drivers are crazy. We were on the Florida Turnpike and the drivers were all over the place. One of the scariest drives of my life. Once you hit highway 1 everything slows way down and you feel like you are in the islands. God, I miss that place.

Both Laura and I don't belong in a state that is land locked. We both love water so much and living in a state where the only water we have is man made lakes is depressing. Growing up my parents took me all over the place. Hawaii, Cayman, Hondurus to just name a few. When we merged onto highway 1 in southern Florida I saw an instant change in Laura. It was as if she knew she was home. I love seeing that in her face.

One of the main reasons we don't just pack up and move is because of family. Laura is very close with her family and her Mom is stuggling with a horrible disease right now. Her Mom was diagnosed with MS 9 years ago. Her Mom is still so filled with life and it's hard to see her struggle with this disease. Luckily her Mom is still able to walk and be as independant as she was before the disease, but we know that one day this may change. And I understand completly why Laura wants to stay close to her parents. I would do the same if my Mom was dealing with something like this and needed my help. Laura is a good daughter. She loves her parents so much and it's hard to see her deal with the emotions that she has in regards to her Mom's MS.

So for now we will take the vacations to the keys and think later about possibly moving. Family is important to both of us. And right now our family needs us here in Kansas City. My parents may doubt my importance of family. But there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them and wonder how they are doing. My heart breaks everytime I see my Mother and she just turns away from me. But they are still my family and regardless of what they think I do still love them and wish things could be different.

Give Me 5

I was tagged twice today, so I guess I better do this. Here goes:

5 Things in my purse: I do not carry a purse..so I have to pass on this one.

5 Things always in my wallet:
*Debit Card
*"In Case of Emergency" info
*Check book
*Pen
*Insurance cards

5 Things always in my refrigerater
*A 12 pack of Coke
*Salad Dressing
*Milk (may be spoiled, but it's still there)
*String Cheese
*Eggs

5 Things in my closet
*All my shoes
*Usually a cat
*Usually another cat or two or three
*Clothes hamper
*My clothes

5 Things in my car
*A picture of Laura
*A duraflame log (in the trunk, left over from camping)
*A bottle of Febreeze
*My rewards card for the casino
*99% of the CD's that I own

5 Things on my desk
*My favorite picture of Laura
*A Lava Lamp
*An old picture of my youngest nephews (it's from 2004. since then there's even another nephew)
*My cellphone
*My favorite pen

As I was told, if you are reading this, you are officially tagged.

Pet Conversations

Life in our house is never dull. We always have things going on with the "kids". Here are some pictures from today with how the "kids" have summed up the week...so far.

Bonk: Hello!! Why do you keep taking my picture? You are really starting to get on my last nerve. If I were you, I would sleep with one eye open tonight.











Sophie-Cat: Going to the vet just really wears me out. AND they didn't even do what they were suppose to do. 8 hours at the vet and all I got was a freaking bath. Didn't you tell them I need my "special' cut as well. I swear I don't know how the two of you would survive without me around making sure things get done.








Ben (black kitty): The way she is looking at us you would think there is something wrong with us playing cards?

Astro: Don't worry about it Ben. We are prefectly normal cats. They are just upset because we are better at Skip-Bo then they are.

Ben: What else do we have to do all night besides play cards? None of us have figured out how to turn on the tv.




Sophie: I am so tired I don't even have enough engery to get up on my bed. This heat is draining everything out of me. Lord help me get through this summer. I promise if you get me through this summer I will never eat cat shit again. I swear.







See, I told you there's always something going on at our house.

Deepest Desire

There are just some days that the longing I feel to be a Mother is overwhelming. Ever since I was young I have wanted to be a Mother. I remember playing "house" with my cousin when we were little and I had it all planned out how I was going to be a Mother. Back then I had no concept of how much money it cost to raise a child so I was thinking that maybe I would have 4 or 5. I had all their names picked out.

My feelings for wanting to be a Mother have not changed because I am gay. My therapist put it simply when she told me "you got robbed in the Mother department". That is how I feel. I was given two chances for a Mother and both turned out not in my favor. Now my birth Mom did what she thought was best for me. And to be honest I was raised well. I never wanted for anything. All my basic needs, plus many luxuries were more then taken care of. But emotionally my childhood was lacking. So, yes, in the Mother department I feel that I got the short end of the stick.

I have never denied to Laura that I want to have children. Laura has never felt the need to be a Mother. As much as I don't understand her never having the feeling of wanting to have children, she doesn't fully understand my desire to have children.

Will this feeling go away if we never have children? I look at all the wonderful families that are same-sex families that have children. I see how happy they are and I tell myself that Laura and I could have that. I really want that. I want a little face looking at me calling me "Mommy".

I worry about delaying the decision to have children. I would be devestated if we decided we would have children and realize that biologically it's too late. I am adopted, but I don't have any desire to adopt a child. I want to feel that child growing inside me. I want to deliver that child into the world. I don't want to miss a second of that child's life.

Despite the experiences I have had with my Mother I know I would be a good Mother. I know Laura and I could give a child so much love. Having a child is one of my deepest desires. I am not so willing to give up on this dream yet.

Cleaver Lines

For 2 1/2 years I worked with the homeless. It was one of my favorite populations to work with. These individuals are literally at "rock bottom" and have only one way to go. I found my work very rewarding. I have a million stories about the different people that I worked with, many of them sad and many of them very encouraging.

Kansas City has it's fair share of homeless individuals. Coming home from work at night I often see a few individuals standing at the side street when I get off the highway. I often feel sorry for them, but fear that giving them cash will only enable the reason they have become homeless. For many of them substance abuse is at the core of why they are in the situation they are in. For others there are other reasons: lack of work, lack of adequate work. Each person has their own set of circumstances.

Yesterday as I was walking out of the bookstore there was a homeless man standing outside with a paper cup asking for money. The area that this particular book store is in is one of the most affluent parts of Kansas City. And the homeless always seem to stand outside of Barnes and Noble. Usually when you walk past the individuals standing outside the bookstore they just ask for money. This particular homeless individual had one of the most cleaver lines I had ever heard. As I walked by he shock his cup and said, "Can you spare some change, I am looking to put a down payment on a cheeseburger?" As if it was automatic I said "no" and continued to walk. Then I realized what he had said. I started giggling to myself. That was such a cleaver line. I had no choice but to turn around and drop a few coins in his cup.

Hot Water Heater Progress

As I write this they are currently working on our water heater and pipes. I guess the problem is worse then what we first thought. Go figure. This morning I woke up and went and got the part they suggested we get for the shower head. The shower head (which was brand new in April) needed a new part due to the coresion that has happened due to the water heater problem. The plumber told us it would be no more then $40. Laura called before I left and they had the part and it was $59. I just thought the plumber was wrong. So, I go and pick up the part. At lunch I took it home and the plumber said we got the wrong part. Back we go. The other part that we needed was only $23. So, it was nice getting a refund for $43.

Apparently when the dip tube broke into little pieces it turned into what appears to be sand. So our drains are filled with this sand material. It's a huge process to get it out. That is where the cost is coming in. Looking down the pipes it looks like a bag of sand was poured into our drains. And it's in every single line that carries hot water. So, that means every single line. Even the one for the washer has all this crap in it. We are having to replace the line for the washer due to all the "sand" in the line. In the back of my mind I am still thinking the Fix-it Guys had something to do with this problem. I wish I could prove it somehow.

This morning before I left we collected up all the cats to put in rooms so they wouldn't get out. The only one we couldn't get was of course BEN. When I came home for lunch we cornered him and got him into a locked room. Poor guy is so afraid right now. I know he is having flashbacks to April.

Things could be worse. And I am still so motivated to quit smoking. I am actually looking forward to the day when I am not so dependant upon those damn cancer sticks. It kind of feels refreshing.

Laura's birthday is in about 3 weeks and I am having problems coming up with an idea for her b-day gift. Anyone have any ideas for someone that loves the beach and sun and LOVES to read? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Some Days Just....

SUCK!!!!

So, as everyone knows we've been having problems with our shower ever since the Fix-it Guys came to our house to redo our bathroom. Ever since April we have noticed a decrease in the water pressure with the hot water is on. We thought for sure they fucked something up. So, today I called a plumber to have them come check it out since we are getting ready to go to mediation with the Fix-it Guys.

Turns out, they actually didn't do anything to mess up the hot water. We need a new hot water heater. Fuck. Well, actually the hot water heater is not that expensive. It's the damage that was done due to us not knowing about a recall on the hot water heater we have. Double fuck. Our current water heater was put in July 25, 1996. I know this since my Grandmother, who owned this house prior to her death, put a sticker on the water heater with the date. It should have lasted us a lot longer. Turns out there was a recall due to a defective dip tube. I guess it broke up into tiny little plastic pieces and has literally melted in the shower head.

Total cost for all of this: $1200!!!

One positive thing: we have the money. I have never known a time in my life when I can actually say, "we'll just take it out of savings" and have money left over. But it's still a bit of a sting. When you add the money we've put in for my teeth and this, it's been one hell of an expensive summer.

One good thing that has come from today: I am still motivated to quit smoking. YEA.

I Want to be a Quitter Too

I want to quit smoking. Last week I read Sandra's blog and she was telling us how she is reading this book that is suppose to help you quit. What I liked from what Sandra wrote was that you can (and are encouraged to) continue to smoke until you finish the book.

So, this morning I was sitting at my desk thinking about when to go out for my morning smoke break and I decided I need to go buy this book. It's time that my life is not run by cigarettes. I am so tired of smelling bad, burning myself and most of all spending the money. We get paid twice a month and I always go buy 2 cartons of cigarettes. I smoke about a pack a day (some days more, some days less), but by buying the cartons I always felt I was saving money. So, twice a month I shell out at least $55 for the two cartons. Every once in a while Marlboro is generous and will send me a few coupons. The coupons barely cover the taxes. So, I have had it. It's time to change.

At lunch I went to Barnes&Noble and bought this book. I have read through chapter 2 and already feel calmer about quitting. I can't wait to see how I feel at the end of the book.

The first time I had a cigarette was at summer camp. I was 16 and we all wanted to see what it was like. We were on a sailing trip and there was a marina with a cigarette machine. We shelled out the money and went to the woods to smoke. I didn't like it, but there was no way I was going to tell the other girls I didn't like it. We even took back a pack and smoked it behind our cabin. Thank God we were not caught. I have no idea what they would have done. When I got home I got my first job and everyone there smoked. I smoked to join in with them. Keep in mind, when I say smoke, I mean I would put the cigarette in my mouth, but not inhale. After a few weeks I felt so guilty that I told my Mom who told me I should tell the elders. I called one of the elders and he said that he was happy I told them, but no discipline would be taken since I had stopped. Whew.

Fast forward to 1999. I am in a very unhappy marriage and having feelings for women. I started hanging out with this woman that also worked in social services. We would hang out at bars and she smoked. One night she asked me if I wanted a cigarette. It had never occured to me to smoke. To please her I said yes. I then felt I needed to smoke to be "cool". I was able to go weekends without smoking and one pack would last me a week and a half. Then I went out with a friend from work and she watched me smoke and she said, "you're not doing that right." She told me that I wasn't inhaling and if I really wanted to feel the effects of smoking I needed to inhale. Damn her. Again, to please a woman I did what she told me to. I was hooked immediately. Within two weeks I was smoking a pack a day and had come down with bronchities.

Now here it is 7 years later and the one woman that actually loves and cares for me has begged me for two years to quit smoking. And until now I have just blown her off. Why is it I would start smoking for a woman that didn't care about me, but the one that loves me dearly and wants to spend forever with me I can't seem to quit.

It's time to do what I want to, not what everyone else wants me to do. I need to do this for me. Because if I am doing it for anyone but me, it won't work.

So, here's to quitting smoking and forever being a non-smoker.

Finally Some Pictures

Putting photos on my blog is one of my favorite things, as well as seeing everyone else's photos. I have kind of neglected this part of my blog. So,here are some photos from today and this past week.
We got to go visit with Landon today. It's hard to believe that he will be one next month. He is such a cutie. Get a load of those legs on him. He looks more like a sumau (?) wrestler with those big legs.
This is his "mean" face. I still think he looks cute as ever.
Can you tell he just had a popsickle??? It was everywhere. I mean everywhere. I think there was some on the floor, wall and of course all over him. Pictures like this make my clock start ticking louder and louder. Where is that damn snooze button??
So, here are our babies. Brady (left) and Astro (right) are sleeping on our water floaties. They fold up into nice little circles and the cats just love sleeping on them. It's like an air matress I guess.
If you look to the left of the dog you will see one of our kittens that has started coming around with "mama". For some reason he wouldn't sit and pose for the camera. Instead, he ran as soon as I got close.
I went to do laundry and this is what I found in the hamper. Brady will sleep anywhere and everywhere. He was not too amused by the flash fo the camera.

Awww...Finally Relief from the Heat

Wow, what a difference 24 hours makes. We woke up this morning to storms and much, much cooler temperatures. When the alarm went off I thought maybe it was a mistake because it was so dark in the house. I looked outside and it was pouring rain. What a great feeling that is. I knew it was going to be cooler. Once I got to work my office was FREEZING. No one had adjusted the temp. for the a/c unit so it was still working to get the office at 66 degrees. I turned it up a little so we wouldn't freeze. But I think it's only 72 degrees outside. That's a huge difference from 104 yesterday. About 5 minutes after I got to work this morning the power flickered on and off. Just enough to reset all our computers. Then five minutes later the power went off. This has happened here before and it's funny because we all just sit in our offices like we don't know what to do without power. Luckily all the offices here have huge windows, so we aren't completly in the dark. I quickly said a few prayers hoping that maybe it would be something that would take all day to repair. An hour later the power came back on. But now our computers weren't working. Well, the computers were working it was the network that wasn't working. Which means you can't do anything anyway. No Office Outlook, no internet, nothing. I had a meeting at 11am and the computers were still not working. By the time I got out at noon they were working. About 1/2 way through my meeting I realized I hadn't been able to check my normal blogs. I think I had started to go through withdrawls. Luckily, all is well again.

It appears the cold front that has blown into town has also helped my temperment now. Last night it was still so humid. Laura and I had bought some mulch a few days before and decided last night was the perfect time to put it down. When you put down new mulch I hate how you can tell where the new mulch is and the old mulch is. Once the mulch gets really wet you can't tell. We knew it was going to rain, so this would be the perfect time. So, we were outside at 9pm mulching our front lawn. I know the neighbors (you don't have to answer this Lynilu) must think we are nuts. We'll do anything for the lawn to look perfect.

We got a call yesterday that Laura's Aunt Pinky (I would love to have a cool nickname like this) had falled and broken her hip. Laura's Dad is the youngest of 6 and so her Dad has brothers that are in their late 70's. Aunt Pinky is married to Laura's Dad's brother. I just adore Aunt Pinky. I guess she was out doing her shopping at Dollar General and fell while there. They live in small town about 45 minutes south of us and it's such a small town that the workers at the store called Uncle Jim and said, "Jim, Pinky has fallen." Everyone knows everyone. She had surgery at midnight today and is doing ok. They had to put in a pin and metal plate. I guess the only pain she has right now is the ingrown toenail on her foot. I am sure once they unhook her from the morphine she will be feeling a lot more. So, say a couple extra prayers for Aunt Pinky. She's a pretty special lady. She is in her 70's, lives in a small country town and completly accepts me and Laura as a couple. Infact, when we see her if she doesn't see us both at first she always asks, "where's your better half?"

Not much on the calender for this weekend. Laura has been craving a steak all week, so I think we have talked Lynilu into going out to dinner with us. We always have way too much fun when we get together with Lynilu. Let's just hope the police aren't called this time.

The Perfect Storm

Temperatures in the 100's with a heat index of 112
+
My "monthly" visit from my lovely Aunt Flo
+
Digestive problems due to day 27 on antibotics


All of this equals trouble. It is indeed, The Perfect Storm.

July 31, 2005

A few weeks ago Laura and I were talking with Lynilu about relationships and marriage. It was during this conversation that I had a HUGE light bulb moment. Let me give you a little bit of history on the discussion we were having.

First of all Laura and I have very different views on marriage. Laura does not believe in marriage for gays. Now, she does believe in having the same rights as heterosexuals. She just thinks it should not be called marriage. She feels that it's obvious that "marriage" doesn't work. Just looking at the divorce stats will make anyone (gay or straight) think twice about marriage. I think it's up to 50% now. So that means you only have 1/2 a chance that your marraige will last. That is pretty sad. My parents have been married for almost 38 years. All 38 years have not been filled with wedded bliss. Infact I know they struggled a lot when my brother and I were younger. But they didn't give up. They hung in there and after 38 years I know they are happy they never gave up. There was a time when you did not get divorced. Now this meant a lot of people staying in abusive marriages when they should have left. But now a days people get divorced at the drop of a hat. It's actually kind of sad. So, Laura's views are that obviously it's not working for the heterosexuals, why would we want to do something that has a 50% chance of failing?

My views are very different. I don't feel that just beause most of the "straights" can't get it right doesn't mean Laura and I won't. You have to be commited to making a marriage work. It's not something that you do and then it maintains itself. You have to always be working at it. I think a lot of people think just because they have a little piece of paper saying they are commited to each other that it will always work out. It doesn't always work that way. 50% of married couples will tell you that. I also felt that maybe a private ceremony would be fine, but I thought we should celebrate with friends and family.

So, for the last year or so Laura and I have been having discussions on marriage and commitement ceremonies. We both agreed on a small private ceremony, but I opted for the big celebration with family/friends afterwards where she wasn't too sure if this was something she wanted. We had actually decided to have a private commitement ceremony while we were in Florida in April and come home and have a party to celebrate. A couple months before we went we decided to delay that. Laura's younger sister had just gotten married and we didn't want to come on the heels of her big celebration. Plus, Laura felt pretty strong about making sure, since ours is different then her sisters, that it was to feel different. We felt we just didn't have enough time to plan everything. Now we are back to, what should we do?

Then a couple weeks ago when we were talking with Lynilu it hit me. Last July Laura and I had gone done to the lake for the weekend. We were staying at the same place we stayed last month. We had bought rings from HRC and were going to exchange them that weekend. We had told ourselves that this was until the commitement ceremony. That Sunday night we were the only ones at the motel. We sat out on the lawn right after the sun had gone down and exchanged rings. We had both written something to each other about our love and commitement for each other. The night was perfect. Looking at the water exchanging matching rings with the one I love. Like I said, it was perfect. July 31, 2005 Laura and I officially made that commitement to each other. When we returned last month to the lake I immediatly thought about us exchanging rings in this exact spot. This little motel has such special meaning to us know. Laura felt the exact same way.

I don't know if we will ever have something "public" or not. From the day I met Laura I have been commited to her and her to me. I can't imagine my life without Laura. Our life is not 100% perfect, but it's pretty damn perfect. I know at the end of the day I get to go home to her. I know that she loves and accepts me for who I am not, not who she think I should be.

Tagged by Sassyfemme

Ok, I have been tagged by Sasyfemme. I haven't done one of these lists in a while. Enjoy.

1) When did you first start blogging and why? I first started last summer (2005). I LOVE Rosie and I saw she had what she called a blog. This was the first time I had ever heard of this. I created a blog and did one entry. Then forgot about it and couldn't find it again. So, I created another one and it has really just taken off from there. I started my blog to talk and share my experiences of being raised a JW. It has evolved into so much more. Not only am I talking about my struggles, but I also share the happiness I have found with just being me and the wonderful life I share with Laura. Orignially the title of my blog was "Ex-Jehovah's Witness and Gay". I changed that because there is so much to my life now rather then just being a ex-JW. That's why I changed it to After the Fact. I thought the title was very fitting.

2) What don't you talk about? Anything considered a no-no in your book? I think there is a lot that I don't talk about. When I first started this blog Laura was very "concerned" that our personal (yes sex) life would come up. There have been times I have said a little joke here and there, but nothing very personal or in detail. Our bedroom business is simply that; Ours. I don't talk about any arguments that Laura and I might have. It wouldn't be fair to her for people to hear just one side. I don't talk about (in detail) about my job. There are many times I want to vent about things that go on at work (typical office BS), but you never know who is reading what.

3) Are you and your blogging persona the same person? I think to some degree we are and then on other levels we aren't. I think there are times when I don't write out exactly what I am feeling due to not knowing who is reading and if it could come back and bite me in the ass. But I think overall, we're all the same. (God, it sounds like I have multiple personalities)

4) How do you use blogging to build friendships? I created my blog for a release for me. I never knew I could grow attached to people out there in bloggerland. But I find myself worried about people when I don't see them posting for a while (Courtney!!) or when they are going through something very traumatic.

5) How would you describe your writing style? I am not too sure. There are days when I know what I am going to write about and then others where I have NO idea what I am going to say. I just sit down at the computer and let my figners do the talking.

Since I got tagged, I feel obligated to tag others. So, Lynilu, Courtney, Kim, and Isabel have fun and I look forward to reading your ansers.

HOT!! HOT!! HOT!!

To say it's hot is the understatement of the year. Today we officially reached 100 degrees. Add in the humidity and it felt more like 110. You can't do anything in this weather. It really makes life miserable. I know I have been miserable these past few days. Just walking around the house feeling that familiar feeling of "cabin fever" that we get so much during the long winters. I would give my right arm for one of those cool winter days. A few years ago a local radio station played x-mas music on one of those really hot days. I swear it made the heat not so bad.

I was off work today because this was the weekend we were suppose to go camping. Luckily we decided early last week when we heard the weather forecast to not go. We had planned on taking Sophie with us. I know she would have been miserable the entire weekend. With her black hair, even shaved as low as it is now, she would have been miserable. Instead we opted for a weekend shut in our house.

Today we had grand plans to go to the pool. I woke up and was feeling a little depressed and we decided it was probably too hot to even go to the pool. Good choice. We would have fried had we gone out in this sun. Instead, I got caught up on the all the daytime tv that I miss while I am at work.

This evening I decided that I needed to get out of the house. It was near 7:30pm and I told Laura that I was going to mow the lawn. We have been watering almost everyday so the grass is still very green and continue to grow despite the heat. She wasn't completly for the idea, but I told her that I would be fine with the heat and the yard would be ok as long as we continue to water. I got it done in record time, just under 30 minutes. After mowing I walked in the house and was instructed to immediatly get in the shower. Keep in mind it was still in the 90's when I went out to mow. The air was so thick you could cut through it. Have I mentioned I hate the heat.

We ended the night with a trip up to Dairy Queen. Nothing beats a hot summer night like Dairy Queen. We weren't the only ones that had decided DQ was a good idea tonight.

So, tomorrow it's back to work. We are in for record temps rest of this week. Our poor a/c unit is working overtime. I am a warm blooded person and love the house to be nice and cool. Keeping all the shades closed and limiting how many times we go in and out the doors has really kept our house nice and cool, even with turning the temp up a little.

Hope everone else (looks like all of the US is under this heat wave) stays cool.

"Their" Choices

So, last night I wrote out a post and even published it. It was only up for a few minutes, but in the time I had second thoughts on what I wrote and decided to delete it. In the maybe 10 minutes that it was up I got a comment. Once I read that comment I was very happy I deleted that post.

This blog was started for me to get out in the open my feelings of growing up a Jehovah's Witness and then coming to terms with the fact that I am gay. Realizing I am gay has it own issues, but the main reason for this blog was for me to get out all those "ugly" feelings I have about my family turning their back on me and pretending that I don't exist anymore. My last post I talked about anger. There were a few anonymous comments from people asking where my anger comes from. I think if you read my blog you will see why I am angry. But I am want to go into more detail of why I am angry. I need to get this shit out of me. And I have found that this blog has been one of the healthiest ways for me to get it out. The more it stays inside, the uglier it gets and the more it eats at me.

My parents knew I was gay. When I was disfellowshipped the first time (2000) for smoking my Dad came and had lunch with me one day. Now, my Dad was still talking to me because my Dad has never been a Jehovah's Witness and he was so happy that I had broken free from their mind contolling shit. I mean, he was really happy. It was at this point that my Dad and I were our closest. I told him that day when we were at lunch that I was "seeing" a woman. He appeared to pretty much indifferent to it. I think at that point he was just more concerned that I was happy.

My brother was also told around this same time. My brother didn't care at all. It was never an issue with him.

In March 2002 I was reinstated back into the church. About seven months prior to this I had decided that I wanted to go back into the church. It took seven long months to get back into the church. In August 2002 I was realizing that coming back into the church was not filling this void I had in my life. I knew what that void was. I was gay and I wanted the companionship of a woman. So, everyone in my family knew except my Mom. (how my Dad and brother had not accicently told her is besides me) I told my Mom that I had dated women in the past and that I was gay. She freaked out. I mean, really freaked out. She started crying and then next thing I know she has locked herself in her bedroom and won't talk to me. As I was leaving my Dad said to me, "thanks for stirring up all this shit". That pissed me off. It was as if he wanted me to be unhappy for the sack of their happiness. Three days later I retracted what I told my Mom. I told her that it happended in the past and I no longer felt that I was gay.

So, why am I angry? My parents have taken me being gay as a reflection of who they are as parents. I wish they would see past that and realize I am an adult and this isn't all about them. I am angry that my Mother has chosen her religion over her own daughter. I will never understand how a parent can do that. I am angry at my Father for allowing my Mother to treat me like this and then he follow her just to make things easier for him at their house.

My family will always be my family. My Mother has said for two years (to herself, others and me) that I have chosen Laura over them. I am 33 yaers old and I shouldn't have to chose them over anyone. They need to realize that children grow up and move on. Just because my brother hasn't and is so dependant upon them for everything, doesn't mean that's normal. They should be proud of me for what I have accomplished in life. Here I am living in my OWN house, providing for myself without the help of anyone and best of all, I am HAPPY. I have never been so happy with my life. Yes, I am angry, but not because of the choices I have made. I am angry for the CHOICES my parents have made. There is a big difference.

Being rejected by your parents is one of the hardest things ever. I come across many ex-JW blogs whose parents are still talkign to them. I wonder why my parents won't talk to me. They have their reasons and they have told me several times, but those reasons are no excuse for cutting a child out of their life.

Look at me Mom and Dad. I am happy. I am living the life that any parent would wish for their child. I just hope that they will realize this before it's too late.

Anger

I think I am beginning to melt. It is so hot outside and it's only suppose to get worse by this weekend. They are talking temps in the 100's. We haven't seen it get this hot since the summer of 2004. Hey, that was right after Laura and I met. I wonder if we had something to do with the "sizzling" temps that summer. (she's going to kill me for writing that)

Many of you know that I was married before realizing I was gay. My ex and I met over the internet. Now, this was in 1994. So think of the internet back then. Very antique compared to now. And when we told people how we met they about died, including both our parents. I was first introduced to the internet by my friend from high school. She had moved to Indiana to go to school and she told me about this email thing she had. She told me what I needed to do and she would be able to send me an email. I remember the first email I sent her I just typed in her name in the "send to" box. So, I got Prodigy and went to their Bulletion boards and that's how I met my ex. We got along so well over emails and the first time we got together. Oh, he was from California so getting together was not that easy. I thought my parents were going to kill me when I told them that this guy I met over the internet was going to be coming to town. Did I mention that I told them like two weeks before he was due to come to town. They said he couldn't stay in the house, so the poor guy got a hotel room for the entire two weeks that he was here. I was so confident that this was love. Who else would shell out $450 for a hotel for two weeks?

We did get married a year and a half later. Within a month I knew I had made the worst mistake of my life. I thought for sure that if James and I got married I would suddendly be happy. It didn't work out that way. Suddenly I had all this anger. I had no idea where it was coming from. The smallest things would send me off into a world I had never been. There were times I would be so angry that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I should have gotten the clue when I put on like 40 pounds in the first 8 months of our marriage. It was horrible.

Four years later James and I realized that maybe we couldn't make this work. I didn't feel like trying and neither did he. I had already started feeling like "maybe men weren't right for me". The first time I kissed a woman I knew I was gay. There was no hiding the fact. When James left, I was happy for the first time in almost six years.

Then the real work started. Ok, I was gay, but where do I go from here. I was able to explore these feelings because as James was on the way out of town (he moved back to California) he informed the elders at our congregation that I was smoking. They called me in and told to quit smoking. Like a little kid I said, "no". They said ok and disfellowshipped me. This was the first time I actually stood up for what I wanted to do. It actually felt kind of powerful.

I knew after James left I needed to work on myself. I worked real hard on finding where this anger was coming from and how to deal with this anger in a more healthy way. For five years I did so well with dealing with my anger and dealing with it in a healthy way.

So, here I am today and I feel some of the old feelings of anger coming up. It is actually really starting to make me worry. I find myself flying off the handle easier. I am not too sure what to do. I know Laura has noticed a difference in how I handle things. It's almost as if I can't handle things anymore. As a social worker you are trained to deal with a crisis. It seems so much harder in my own life. Why is it so hard to get a hold of this anger?

It is something I am aware of and something that I work on each and every day.

Millie

When things are slow at work I just click "next blog" to see what's out there. A few months ago I came across a blog that just broke my heart. I have followed this family's journey of their 2 year old having a brain tumor. They have had some difficult times lately and it just breaks my heart to read what they are going through and the choices they have had to made. Click here to read about this remarkable two year old girl that has so much courage and strength.

Reading what this family is going through makes anything I am going through trival. Please pray for this family and maybe leave them a note of encouragement. I know I would take any and all prayers if my little girl was suffering from a fatal disease.

Spare Change

I love change. Most people just toss their change in their car or on the counter. Not me. Every single penny that I get back I put in our coin jar. It started about 8 years ago and I just started throwing my change in this jar. We have it in our living room so that we always remember to throw our extra change in there. I am always amazed at how much money we collect just from our change. I think all of this obession started with my Dad. I remember being a teenager and he would clean out my car and take all the spare change that was on the floor of the car. He would always say, "look I just collected $1.18 off the floor of your car". I never thought that much about it. It was just a few pennies here and there.

I now know that all those coins add up. Monday I was bored and I decided to sit down and count all our change. (I told I was bored) I counted $86.00 worth of coins. And that's just two months of saving. Usually when it gets to a certain point we will cash it in and go out to dinner or something. This time I am determined to see how much we can save over 6 months or so. I remember one time when we were in the grocery store and there was ths guy with a HUGE coin jar. He was dumping all his coins in and it totaled something like $900. That's like getting an extra paycheck.

Now when I buy something I never give them the change to round it up. I don't care if it's $5.01. I want that 99 cents back to put in our coin jar.

With the way gas prices are going up we are going to need all this extra change we are saving for gas. Would you believe it cost us $90 to fill up both of our cars. And we won't have huge cars. It was $42 for mine and $45 for Laura's car. I wonder how high we are going to allow the gas prices to get before we start doing something about it.

Root Canal Part 3

Yesterday I stayed home from work. It was part mental health day and partly because my mouth was very sore. Last night I was feeling pretty good and decided there was no reason why I wouldn't be able to go to work today. At 3:30 I woke up with the most horrible pain in my tooth. I have never felt pain like this before. I literally shot up out of a deep sleep. I got up and took from Advil hoping that would help with the pain. As I was laying back in bed all I could focus on was this horrible pain. So I wouldn't distrub Laura I decided to go downstairs. While down there the pain become unbearable. I decided that I would just have to take a pain pill. Knowing that they make me very sleeply I decided with this pain and then the effects of the pain pill there was no way I could go into work today. So, at 4:30am I called and left a message at my work. I feel bad for not going in, but I really didn't have any other choice.

This morning I called my dentist right when they opened. Luckily they were able to get me in just a few short hours later. They x-rayed my tooth and said overall it looked good (root canal part), but that I had another infection due to the trauma from the root canal. So guess what? He put me on even stronger antibotics for another 10 freaking days. Great. He also gave me some not so good news. He said that if after the 10 days on the antibotics and my tooth is not better he will have to pull the tooth. Crap. He said the tooth is very bad and he is doing everything so I don't loose the tooth. The tooth that they did the root canal is like the 3rd back on my left top side. So, it won't be that noticeable if they pull it, but I would need to have a bridge put in. The talk of me possibly having to have a bridge makes me feel old. He did tell me that the money I have paid for the root canal will be applied towards the brdige. That's some reassurance. Apparently having a bridge put in is very, very expensive. When I think of someone having a bridge in their mouth I think of someone my parents age, not 33.

So this afternoon I am feeling kind of depressed. Not only do I not feel good phsyically cause of the pain, but I am feeling bad for not caring for myself phsyically better. The dentist said that my sudden teeth problems are due to the diabetes. I have got to stay on the ball with keeping my sugars under control.

Laura and I were suppose to go camping this weekend, but decided against it. Not only do I not want to be out in the middle of nowhere if I start having more problems, but it's suppose to be warmer here then it has been in two years. They are talking temps in the 100's. Plus, I was due to take Monday off since we were going to be camping, but with the two days I have missed this week, it's probably better that I go into work anyway.

What a crappy Tuesday this has been so far. Let's hope it gets better.

Taking Back MY Neighborhood

In my last post I indicated that I wanted to move. Well, after much thought I realized that at this moment moving is not an option. Laura and I have some long-term plans that we want to accomplish and that means staying in this house for a little bit longer. And, this was my Grandmother's house so there is a lot of memories in this house and no matter what it will be hard leaving.

So, I thought about what I could do for the moment to make me feel more comfortable living in this house. It has been "suggested" that I whine about my problems and do nothing about them. I beg to differ. For Gods sake I am a social worker. I realize there are a lot or problems in the world and I have dedicated my life's profession to make the world a little better. Anyway, so as I was thinking about what I could do to make our neighborhood a little better I came up with the perfect solution. I decided that I need to start a "Neighborhood Watch" program for our street. We have some great neighbors that do care about our neighborhood and I know they will be supportive of my endeavor. I've already called the city to see what I need to do to get started to make this idea a reality. The person I talked to gave me all the information that I need and is sending me out a packet of information to get the ball rolling. I feel good about this. The city usually provides the signs that go in your neighborhood, but due to funding we would have to buy them if we want them. At $17.99 a piece (minimum of 2 required) that is no problem.

My next goal is to go around and speak to the neighbors about my idea. As I said before, I am pretty sure that most will be very supportive. After that Laura and I will host a meeting where a represenative from the city will come speak to us and our neighbors as well as an officer. They did tell me that once you form a Neighborhood Watch the police a lot of times will call you to inform you of any recent breakouts of buglary or other crimes. I already feel more powerful.

Not that I have to prove anything to anyone, but I am very proud of this idea of mine. My Grandparents lived in this house and they loved it. I am determined to take back MY neighborhood and not let anyone or anything scare me out of it.

Fear

When the Honda died yesterday I should have known that this was not going to be a good day. I should have just gone back to back and started new this morning. Last night dinner with our neighbor was wonderful. She cooked the most wonderful pasta dish. Infact, I went out this morning to get all the indgredients to make it sometime this week. It was wonderful. After dinner we went out to her back deck to talk. We were probably out there for 45 minutes when there was this horrible explosion. Lynilu's dog Ali had been acting nervous for the paset 30 minutes due to people in the way distance setting off small fireworks. Well, this was about 100 feet from us and it was the loudest noise I have ever heard. My first thought was a house had exploded. Sitting out on Lynilu's deck you are looking at the side and back yard to our house. As we very carefully walked in the backyard we noticed a huge smoke cloud in front of our house. I wasn't sure what was going on.

I went inside and told Lynilu that I was going to call the police. Even if it was just a firework I was too scared to walk back over to our house. Living in the neighborhood that we live in it could have also been a gun, possibily a rifle. I was just scared. Finally, 10 minutes later the police showed up. We noticed a smell of gun powder coming from the storm drain right in front of our house. So, we concluded that some jackass had thrown either a homemade firecraker or a M80 in the drain. Stupid fuck.

Laura and I retired for the night and went into our house. All our babies were looking at us like, "what the fuck was that?" This explosion was right in front of our house, so we are talking maybe 30 feet to our house. I can't imagine what they were thinking when it went off. Walking around the inside of our house I didn't feel safe. I felt like running as rar as I could. I just wanted to get away. I was even thinking about maybe going down to Laura's parents house for the night. I decided instead to take one of my "stress" pills. I got these pills from my Dr. about a month ago due to the anxiety I have been feeling. I was watching the clock waiting for this little pill to kick in. It seemed like it took forever.

I do not feel safe in my neighborhood. Now, we have wonderful neighbors that live around us, but I think everyone was gone last night. Because after the explosion there was no one around. Most of them would have come outside to see wha was going on. I think that made me nervous as well. I was praying all night last night that there would not be another explosion like that. I don't think my nerves could take another one.

I want to move. The neighborhood that we live in at one time was very, very nice. The last couple of years (5 or so) we have had a lot of "thugs" move in that make this neighborhood less deseriable every day. I don't care if we have to move to a smaller house. I just want out of this neighborhood. It's not fair that I feel I can't go out afer dark. Just sitting on our back deck I don't feel safe.

One comfort I have is the alarm system. One touch of a button and the police will be called. When we had it installed a few months back we had a touch pad put in our bedroom. Before it was down by the front door. I always thought if I needed to press the panic button I would have to go downstairs to press it.

I think I feel silly for the way I reacted last night, but I was so scared. And I keep hearing that explosion in my head. Let's hope for a quieter evening tonight.

The *CAR* Gods Must Be Crazy

What was suppose to be a nice relaxing Saturday has turned into anything but that. When I woke up I watched the news and saw that it is suppose to rain tomorrow. I am very particular (some might called is obessed) with our lawn. With no rain we have been watering it about 2x a week to make sure it stays green. Most people have stopped mowing their lawn due to the lack of rain and the grass going dormant. Not ours. So, I got up and decided I would mow this morning. Laura was a little irriated with me, but knew there was no talking me out of it. As I was mowing she went out to get us some breakfast. When I came in from mowing Laura called. She stated that when she went to start the car (Honda) it was dead. CRAP. We were told in January that we should probably get a new battery, but neglected to do so. Everytime we went to Wal-Mart we would say, "we'll get the battery on the next visit." Well, to make matters worse Laura had taken her set of car keys. My set of keys does not have a spare key to her car. So, I am stuck. Again, CRAP.

Luckily our trusted neighbor Lyniluwas home and willing to take me up to where Laura was. We were pretty sure it was the battery, but until you jumpstart the car and it starts you just don't know. We were unable to use Lynilu's car to jumpstart the car due to her having an awkward battery. We were very thankful for her offer though. Once we got Laura's car back to the Honda we jumped it and it quickly started. Knowing that we had big plans for the pool today we decided we would just take it to our local Firestone store. Man did we get screwed. A battery at Walmart is maybe $60. Well, in the end we were charged $139 for them to simply change the battery. That's what we get for waiting too long.

As I was driving the Honda home I tried to turn the radio on. There was nothing. It was asking for a security code that I didn't have. Reading the manual it said you would need this code when the radio is disconnected from it's power source. Some sort of security measure. When I get home I call the local Honda dealership seeing if they can help me. They told me unless I have the code they would charge me $99 to take the radio out to find the serial number. Double CRAP. The guy did tell me that sometimes there is a sticker in the glover compartment. I ran out and it was there. Thank GOD. I am not sure what would have been worse; paying $99 to find the code or driving without a radio/CD player. We lucked out. I will tell you this, I would have been pissed if I would have had to pay Honda $99 to take the radio out just to get the code.

I thought I was going to have a breakdown today. With all that was going on and then the turmoil that my last few posts have caused it's unbearable. One saying keeps coming to my mind, "Can't we all just get along?"

Thank goodness lynilu had been so gracious and invited us over for a nice relaxing dinner. Oh, and my tooth feels find as long as I keep taking pain meds. June and July have turned out to be a very expensive month for us.

Is it Fall yet?

Root Canal Part 2

It seems my post yesterday sent several people into a complete tizzy. It certainly was interesting reading all the comments from my supporters as well as my opposers. One quick thought: isn't America great. We can all have different opinions and thoughts on different subjects and we don't have to worry about being jailed or worse killed for simply having different thoughts. I just wish some people were more sensitive to others feelings. Being called a "swine" was not called for, but it's one of the consequences of having a blog where so many of my feelings and so much of my life are made public by choice.

Today was part two of my root canal. I wish I could say that it went as smoothly as the first appointment a week ago. This time I opted not to have the "laughing gas". I think that was a mistake. After three shots to numb my mouth the dentist started working on the tooth when "bam" I had a shock go through my entire body. He quickly realized that I was not completly numb and gave me a fourth shot. My entire left side of my face was now numb including my nose. This appointment took more time. I laid in the chair for well over an hour. My mouth was so sore from being held open. I could tell that I was not as relaxed and was nervous everytime I heard the drill coming for my mouth. The temporary crown was put on and I was sent on my way. Walking out the door I got a glimpse of myself and it looked as if I had had a stroke. Trying to move my left side of my mouth was impossible and when I took a drink of water 1/2 came out my left side of my mouth. I had every intentions of going back to work. I did make it back to work and then the numbest started wearing off. God, my mouth is so sore. I went in my boss' office to ask him something and he couldn't beleive I had come back. He asked if I had any afternoon clients. Upon hearing I had a clear afternoon he said, "why don't you go home". That was just what I wanted to hear. I had a pain pill with my name on it at home. Once home I took my pain pill and by the time Judge Judy came on I was feeling all warm and fuzzy.

Eating is another challenge. I have to softly (and I mean very softly) chew on my other side. I can't have anything too cold or too warm due to my mouth being sensitive. But I am glad it's almost over. Just one more appointment to get my permenant crown put on and I am all done. Whew!!

Dental work is expensive, even with insurance. So far I have paid $864 out of pocket for all this work. Luckily they allow me to pay part of it at each visit. Still, each time I go to the dentist I am shelling out around $288. I have learned my lesson about taking good care of my teeth and not neglecting them even for six months. I now have a toothbrush and toothpaste at work and anytime I eat something I quickly go brush my teeth.

Tomorrow we are going to Lynilu's for dinner and I am simply excited. It's going to be a good time for all.

Gay Rights

The last couple of weeks I have done a lot of thinking about being gay and how hard it is to be gay. Got me to thinking about how people say being gay is a choice, etc. I don't understand how people could say that. Being gay is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced in my life. There are so many times I feel that I have to hide who I am in public due to safety issues. Living in the midwest and right smack in the middle of the Bible belt makes things difficult. You never know if someone is going to notice the pride stickers on your car and decide to show you how much they hate gays. Growing up I was always taught that someone is gay because that is what they chose to do. Now looking back on how my family and religion addressed gays it was as if the person was acting out and just trying to be different.

The last few weeks Laura and I have had several long conversations regarding this topic. Laura, who has known she was gay her entire life, has witnessed sexual orientiation discrimination first hand. The way Laura and I approach the subject of "our" gay life at times is very different. For example: I don't care who knows we are gay and I have no problem with showing affection in public. Laura on the other hand, who has suffered discrimation because she is gay is sometimes more hestitant. Laura has to remind me numerous times that we don't know who is watching us and you never know for sure if it is safe. When we were at the lake we were inside our own room. It was the middle of the day and the curtains were open. We were getting ready to walk out of the room and I went to give her a kiss. Instinct told her to pull away since the curtains were open. Ok, here is my thing: we were in our own freaking room. Again, Laura had to remind me that we don't know who is watching and we don't know if they would harm us in any way.

Last night Laura and I were having one of our discussions on this. I simply looked at her and said, "it's not fair". I don't know any other way to put it. I wish our rights were as protected as the man/woman that live across the street from us. I wish gay-haters would just leave us gays alone. We aren't doing anything to you.

If I could I would marry Laura. It's not fair that if something should happen to me she wouldn't automatically receive any of my remaining property. The fact that we have to make sure that all our legal ducks are in a row is a bunch of bullshit. We deserve the same rights as every heterosexual couple in the U.S.

That is my rant for the day. There I feel better. :)

Laura's *Other* Love

I have a serious problem and I need some advice. Laura and I are having problems. Let me give you a little history on what is going on.

First of all, it all started about two months ago. I noticed that Laura was getting more and more distracted and it seemed that there was someone else getting her attention. At first I didn't think too much about it. I knew it was not fair for me to tell her "you can't never look at another woman again". I know that when she looks at some woman she feels they are beautiful, etc. But it seems like it's gotten out of hand the last few weeks. This person is all I hear about now. You would think the world has to stop because this person is talking. Laura's entire focus is on her. And I am getting to the point where I am scared for our relationship. But I won't sit back and allow this person to take over what Laura and I once had. It actually makes me kind of sad to think that this person could come in between me and Laura. Laura and I have always had such strong relationship with lots of communication. I mean, we communicate about everything. Now there are times when Laura is focused on this other person and there is only silence between us.

So, if anyone knows how to get a hold of Kathy Griffin I would greatly appreciate it. It seems that Kathy Griffin has become Laura's new obession. I am not sure what she sees in her and I try not to ask too many questions. Last night you would have thought Laura was going through withdraws because her weekly show was not on. Last Friday night I woke up and realized Laura was not in the bed. She was downstairs watching some talk-show with Kathy Griffin. It was 1:30 in the morning. Good God. She needs to get a grip on her obession. Kathy is coming to a small town near KC in November. I am kind of afraid to take Laura. I am afraid I will end up bailing Laura out of jail due to her scaring Kathy Griffin. I am not sure Laura could control herself if Kathy was in the same room.

Any advice?

One More Reason We Don't Need A Man

Yesterday afternoon before we were heading out I went to the bathroom. About twenty seconds after flushing there was this huge noise and racket coming from the toilet. It seemed it was shaking the entire house. My first thought was to shut off the water. My second thought was "what did those Fix-it Guys fuckers do now?" After messing with the water to the toilet the noise stopped. Both Laura and I were kind of dazed and not knowing what was going on. We flushed again and the same loud noise and racket occured. Damn. We left the house and while we were driving we were talking about what could possibly be going on. We came to the conclusion (don't know how) that there must we air in the water line. After talking with her parents we were sure that was what was wrong. But we still didn't know exactly how to fix the problem. My first thought was to call a plumber or to call Laura's Dad to come help us or some other male.

When we got home it was still happening every time we flushed. I began to stress. One thing about me: I am a worry wart. If I can worry about it, then dammit I am going to worry about it. It's a flaw that I am working on, but with all the problems we had with the bathroom remodel, my worrying at times has escalated. After realizing that we needed to figure something out I got on the internet. I didn't think I would find anything, but searched under "toilet problems" anyway. Within five minutes I had diagnosed the problem. Laura and I were correct. There was air in the water line. Our toilet appeared to have what it commonly known (only to plumbers and lesbians I guess) is "toilet hammering". Upon reading what the noise sounds like we knew we had found the problem. By this time it was 11:30pm and it was too late to try to fix it. With only one toilet in the house, it was a loud night everytime one us had to go to the bathroom.

So, we wake up this morning and start our adventure of fixing our toilet. Before the bathroom remodel I had no idea where the main water shut off was. Thankfully I do now. I had to turn the main water off. Then turn on two faucets in the house and then turn on the faucet in the house that is lowest to the ground. AFter letting the water drain out of the front yard faucet, we left the two inside on and turned the main water back on. And there you have it, our problem is fixed.

Now, I am feeling very proud of myself. I am not a home improvement kind of gal. Growing up I never had to fix anything. Infact, whenever something needed to be fixed my Father (a lawyer) was never real handy himself and would always call someone. So, I never got the chance to learn. After fixing the toilet Laura looked at me and said with a smile, "see you don't always have to call a man to fix things for us." Lesson learned.

Boy it's HOT out there

We had a pretty laid back weekend. It was too damn hot to do anything. The high on Friday and Saturday was 97 and the yesterday it was a little cooler with a high of just 95. I felt like a Meth user because we had the house all closed up with all the shades pulled all day. Laura hates it when I keep the house all closed up like that, but I swear it keeps the house cooler during the hottest time of the day.

Saturday I went to the pool. Laura is still recovering from our weekend at the lake. She forgot to put something on her lips and had horrible fever blisters. They are finally going away now. So that meant I had to go to the pool by myself. I only stayed a couple hours because I was bored there by myself. Plus, even being in the water it was still hot. I just wanted to get back in the a/c. When I got home I went into one of my ADD moments and taped down the bathroom and primed it. Yes, it's been two months since our bathroom has been completed and we are just now getting around to painting it. It just seemed like things kept coming up and most of our weekends are booked with either camping or going to the lake. I did get the whole thing primed. Let's just hope it doesn't take us another two months to get the paint on the wall.

Good, well GREAT news about our aquarium. We moved the fish to a small aquarium we have and emptied all the water out. We then cleaned it real well and put the water back in. So, far so good. The water is crystal clear again. It looks great. It is so much easier putting water in it during the summer. We got the aquarium in February so it took us about 25 buckets of water to fill up all 28 gallons. This time we just pulled the hose in from the yard. Much, much easier. We bought all new plants and added the fish back in yesterday. They all seem happier being in clean, clear water. We are going to wait a few weeks and then go buy some more fish. Right now we only have 7 in there and we can have at least 12 in there.

I got word just a few moments ago that my job is letting us go at noon. YEA. When we were in Florida my work closed at noon on Good Friday and I kind of felt jipped.

Hope everyone has a fun, and safe 4th of July. Our neighborhood currently sounds like Iraq with all the fireworks going off. I can handle the small ones, but when they start setting off M80's it gets too loud. One of these days one of those fools is going to blow up their house or set 1/2 the neighborhood on fire.